


A Chair Occurrence (and Whether the Abstract Concept of Time is Germane in the Fictitious Eyes of an Inanimate Object)

by Toastyquinn



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, I Tried, It was mentioned, Karkat Tantrum Bingo, Karkat x Chair, Karkat/Chair, M/M, SO SAD, Unrequited Love, What Was I Thinking?, bluh bluh, or - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-13 01:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2131224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toastyquinn/pseuds/Toastyquinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story about jealousy and unrequited love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Chair Occurrence (and Whether the Abstract Concept of Time is Germane in the Fictitious Eyes of an Inanimate Object)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I mainly blame RoSH for the fact that this story is being posted. Go check her out! She's a cool person! There is probably a lot wrong with this (I'm almost sure of it), but this story just isn't really worth editing! I hope that you all enjoy it, anyways!

You are a chair, and you used to be useful.

People used to like you, or at least regard you fondly. Not anymore.

Some used to seek you out, taking you away from the common area to be used for other purposes. In the end, though, you would always end up back there. 

People would pick you up or put you in a sylladex, and you would be off on an adventure. Who would sit on you today? Would you even be sat on, or would you be used for a different reason? Perhaps someone needs to reach a high place, or use you to build a fort of sorts.

It would be fun while it lasted, but in the end, your place would always be the common area.

You liked to watch them, observe them. You saw them talking, laughing, sipping their beverages. You always got so excited when they took you away. Naturally, you like to explore. You've seen so many places in this strange structure, and have had many owners as well. You have outlasted many as well. While others -- mortals -- crumbled and fell, you remained, as strong and sturdy as ever. Of course you would, you're a piece of furniture.

Anyway, it was another evening in the common area, when it happened.

The self-proclaimed "cool" guy was talking to the girl in orange and the glowing girl. You're pretty sure that the two girls were dating or something. You weren't really paying attention to what they were saying, because to be honest, you didn't really care. You just wanted someone to pick you up and take you away.

Then, he walked in.

You had never really cared too much for any of these people, frankly. You watched them come and go, picking you up and dropping you off, day after day. It was only then that you realized you had a particular affinity for this boy.

He had grey skin, and grey eyes, with yellow around them. He always wore a black shirt with long sleeves, and pants. He also yelled a lot. The guy sure made an entrance, appearing almost out of thin air, on one of those round, plate things. He yelled about some more stuff, and long-story-short, he had a fight with the "cool" guy, and ended up being humiliated.

You don't really know how it happened, but some time later you found yourself in his sylladex, being whisked away to another far corner of the building. You don't even really know how you know what a 'sylladex' is, what with you being a chair and all. 

You spent a lot of time with him after that. This boy had succeeded both in keeping you for a longer amount of time than anyone else, and in capturing your heart. Once again, the present statement fails to make any sense, not just because you are an inanimate object without organs and emotions, but also because time is not immediately relevant in the veil. You shouldn't even know what time is, or where you are for that matter. As of this moment, it is every objects' job to suddenly question the relevance of time.

Did you mention that you are a chair, yet?

In any case, he had dragged you to many vast, far off corridors in this strange place, completing various jobs with your aid. It began to seem as though you were always there for him, though he was there for you, as well -- whether he realized it or not. You would help him reach a tall place -- for the boy was very short -- and in return, he would grace you with his presence.

Eventually, though, he started to change. He grew older, taller -- not by much, but still -- and stronger. Soon, he kept you in his sylladex more often, and rarely took you out for anything. You felt as though you were a waste of space there, though he never let you go. You were very sure that he had forgotten about you.

One day though, he proved that he hadn't just left you there to die. That was the day that he broke your heart.

It was a regular day, one like any other (not to say that you, an object such as a chair, could differentiate the timespan between days, nights, weeks, months, perigees, years, or sweeps, or that that is even pertinent to your own plane of existence) when it happened. You heard him talking -- well, shouting -- to the "cool" one. The cool guy wasn't really saying much at first.

From your vantage point, you could see that the object of you affections was gazing down at some girl. Oh yes, you remember her. The two are the same species, and had previously been in a relationship for a short time. You know for a fact that he had still had some feelings for her after the break-up, but you weren't sure if that was still true in your timeframe.

Suddenly, he took the thing off of his wrist and placed it on the ground. The thing seemed to be a little crab. A face, specifically that of the coolkid, appeared above the crab in a hologram. The two of them chat some more, your dearest scowling the whole time, when the girl starts to stir slightly. The object of your affections picks up one of the various horns strewn about, honking it loudly in the female's face.

Somehow, it seems to feel as if there was an interruption of sorts between all of this, and transpiring of the next event.

The female opens her eyes, which appear to be the same as the rest of their species, if a little bloodshot. For some reason, your love is incredibly surprised by this. You have no idea why.

The girl looks like a complete wreck, in your opinion. You have no idea what he sees in her. She isn't even that good-looking, especially not in her underwear, covered in sticky red soda. Her hair is a mess -- you wouldn't be surprised if there were a few rodents living in it with how tangled it is -- and she has dark circles underneath her eyes, though they are not as dark as your love's. He almost never sleeps.

The two chat for a bit -- her explaining something about the circumstances, and him chastising her about secrets or something -- when all of a sudden, he pulls you out. Yes! This is your moment to shine! Back off, fuckers, he's yours! Yo, "cool" kid, see this guy who is currently sitting on me backwards, yeah, he belongs to me! Same with you, weird...sticky... broad!

Your love seems to be getting a little pissed off. You really would like to console him, maybe promise to be there for him, but you would rather not get in his way. He may always seem angry, but when it's genuine, it's best to just step out of the way. They both talk a little more, and all of it seems like complete jargon to you, until you hear the girl insult you.

How dare she! She has no right to affront you in the state she's in! The nerve of some people!

The self-proclaimed "cool" kid jumps in next. For a moment, you think that he might actually defend your honour, but then, it turns out to be the exact opposite. Luckily, the object of your affections comes to your rescue. He really is your knight in shining armour. People can say what they want about his ornery persona and pessimistic outlook -- he really is the best person you could ever ask to be affiliated with.

However, this doesn't last long, before the "cool" one keeps pushing. Your love starts to bring logic and psychology into this. He's so intelligent, but he never flaunts it. He is always modest, even though he is completely perfect.

The two boys bicker some more about you, your beloved defending you, and the "cool" kid denying that you can help convey a message. He doesn't think that you can be compassionate! You could totally be compassionate if you really wanted to!

... Well, you probably couldn't, but you're a piece of furniture, for crying out loud! You aren't supposed to be compassionate!

The female interjects, calling you things like "distracting" and "silly". At this point, you are completely outraged and offended, but you know for sure that your dearest will be by your side throughout these accusations. He would never leave you like that.

You are surprised by the fit he has next, in his shouty tone of voice. He makes an ostentatious display of getting rid of you, using very colourful words. He calls you "offensive", a "four legged temptress"! How could he possibly do this to you? You knew that the two of you were drawing apart, but you had no idea that it could have gotten to this point already. But he can't do this! Not after all that the two of you have been through! 

And yet, it would seem that he has succumbed to peer pressure, which is something that you never would have expected! To think, he had led you on like that -- letting your infatuation run deep, letting you feel as though he felt the same way -- only to cast you aside like... well, like a stray piece of furniture. 

It's almost like the infatuation ruse was a........... distraction! And he didn't even get a car out of the deal!

And so, here you stand, alone and forgotten. The world carries on, and so does he. You really do wish the best for him...

... Except you don't, because anyone who treats you like that is going to have hell to pay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to anyone who bothered to read this, comment, of give kudos! You'll notice that I switch tenses somewhere in there, so I'm sorry for that! To make up for it, there's a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff reference in there, so have that! Thanks again!


End file.
